Our greatest longing is to feel alive. Meaninglessness, depression, and many other symptoms are reflections of our disconnection from our core vitality. When we feel alive, we feel connected, and when we feel connected, we feel alive.
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For many folks coming to therapy, there can be a tendency to hyper-focus on what they are NOT doing well or on what is NOT working in their lives. This makes sense, as our brain’s “negativity bias” makes us more sensitive to unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and events. Psychologist Rick Hanson explains that “the brain is like Teflon for the positive and Velcro for the negative.” Our ancestors’ brains developed this adaptation in order to avoid danger and survive; however, it no longer serves us in the same way.
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“Being able to feel safe with other people defines mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”—Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
There is nothing more important to mental health than having safe connections with others; to feel truly seen and heard, and to sense that we belong. This visceral feeling of safety is a powerful buffer against stress, discrimination & trauma.
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I’ve been diving deep into Sarah Peyton’s book, “Your Resonant Self,” which has quickly risen to my “Top Therapy Books” list. In this work, Sarah seamlessly integrates interpersonal neurobiology, attachment research, trauma
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A guiding principle of my work is that the body holds vital information that we cannot access through our thoughts alone. Many of our most painful memories, emotions, and traumas are held in the body, and became stuck there when we were unable to process them at the time they occurred.
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I get it. At some point in life had to learn how to protect yourself. And when life felt like a never-ending battle, you put on a strong armor. It may have been the only way to survive. And it worked.
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