Enlarging our Hearts: Working with Fear and Pain

There is so much heightened anxiety and stress right now in these difficult times. In response, many of us are searching for tools to help us get more grounded. Enter Pema Chödrön: Tibetan Buddhist nun and renowned author of several best-selling books including “When Things Fall Apart,” “Comfortable with Uncertainty,” and “The Places That Scare You.” The titles alone are apt for the collective moment we are facing.

Pema’s quintessential teaching is that we must turn directly towards our pain, to sit in the middle of the fire and breathe it in.

Soothing Difficult Emotions

This “Soften, Soothe, Allow” practice is one of my favorite meditations from Kristin Neff and Chris Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion program. It’s designed to help us work with difficult emotions by offering ourselves physical compassion (softening), emotional compassion (soothing), and mental compassion (allowing). While turning towards our difficult feelings can make them more intense at first, it also helps them pass through us with more ease. However, it’s important to remember to take a break whenever the feelings are too intense and you don’t have to face all your feelings all of the time!

This Book is a Brain Changer

I’ve been diving deep into Sarah Peyton’s book, “Your Resonant Self,” which has quickly risen to my “Top Therapy Books” list. In this work, Sarah seamlessly integrates interpersonal neurobiology, attachment research, trauma