Enlarging our Hearts: Working with Fear and Pain

There is so much heightened anxiety and stress right now in these difficult times. In response, many of us are searching for tools to help us get more grounded. Enter Pema Chödrön: Tibetan Buddhist nun and renowned author of several best-selling books including “When Things Fall Apart,” “Comfortable with Uncertainty,” and “The Places That Scare You.” The titles alone are apt for the collective moment we are facing.

Pema’s quintessential teaching is that we must turn directly towards our pain, to sit in the middle of the fire and breathe it in.

What Would Nourish My Nervous System?

There are endless tips and advice on how to best care for ourselves, especially in these times. Your IG feed and inbox is probably flooded with suggestions, and it might feel overwhelming. Rather than beating yourself up about what you think you “should be doing,” you can pay attention to your nervous system, and ask what would be most nourishing right now?

Deb Dana, Polyvagal expert and therapist, talks about the need for choice and flexibility in our daily routines. We honor our embodied wisdom by listening to and learning what works best for our unique system in any given moment.

Covid-19 Resources for Grounding

As we face these times of change and uncertainty surrounding the COVID-19 spread, it is more important than ever to draw on our inner and outer resources.

While we are "sheltering in place," we have an opportunity to slow down and strengthen our tools, connections and regulating resources, and perhaps even establish better coping skills than we had before!

Coping ToolsJessica YouseffiMarch 24, 2020Mindfulness, covid-19, grounding, meditation, resources

Soothing Difficult Emotions

This “Soften, Soothe, Allow” practice is one of my favorite meditations from Kristin Neff and Chris Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion program. It’s designed to help us work with difficult emotions by offering ourselves physical compassion (softening), emotional compassion (soothing), and mental compassion (allowing). While turning towards our difficult feelings can make them more intense at first, it also helps them pass through us with more ease. However, it’s important to remember to take a break whenever the feelings are too intense and you don’t have to face all your feelings all of the time!

Getting Bigger: Holding Difficult Emotions with Spaciousness

This practice comes from Ann Weiser Cornell, an expert on the psychotherapeutic Focusing technique. This mindfulness and somatic awareness exercise can help you get a handle on overwhelming emotions, calm your nervous system and gain a clearer perspective.

What You Focus on Expands: How to Grow the Good

For many folks coming to therapy, there can be a tendency to hyper-focus on what they are NOT doing well or on what is NOT working in their lives. This makes sense, as our brain’s “negativity bias” makes us more sensitive to unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and events. Psychologist Rick Hanson explains that “the brain is like Teflon for the positive and Velcro for the negative.” Our ancestors’ brains developed this adaptation in order to avoid danger and survive; however, it no longer serves us in the same way.

Self-Regulation is always Co-Regulation

We need others. Whether we like it or not, we are designed to depend on others to feel safe, supported and understood in the world. So why do we place such high value on independence?

Stop a Panic Attack in Less Than a Minute

Linda Graham, author of “Resilience,” claims this exercise can even calm a panic attack in less than a minute, but you can also use it anytime you’re feeling emotionally distressed.